A very sad day...

Playlist
Schumann – Complete Piano Works
Zimmerman – String Quartets 1-3
Albinoni – Complete Oboe Concerti
Corelli – Concerti Grosso
Cloudland Blue Quartet – Starlightnight

A very sad day...

Awoken at 4:15 am with a call from the hospice to advise sister Pam had just slipped away in her sleep...

She had been comfortable and in no pain and had not suffered any more seizures since the big one last Tuesday...

She had not woken since last Thursday...

Sister Sheila and my mum had visited last night and I was glad my mum was with Pam on her last night on Earth...

I arose and chose to listen to some of Robert Schumann’s piano music, the gentle pieces taking me through to 6:30, at which point I called Sheila to give her the news...

That’s the worst part, imparting the awful news...

The reaction always breaks you...

We agreed to meet at our mum’s at 8:30 to give her the news in person and so, me, Anne, Sheila and Andrew entered her house at 8:35...

Immediately my mum saw me she knew...

What a dreadful thing it is to outlive a child...

But what had happened was the best we could have hoped for in what had become a hopeless situation...

And to have Pam go so painlessly was surely a blessing – but a blessing that is very, very hard to take...

Calls to Pam’s friends and colleagues in England to let them know their dear friend was gone and further tears were shed...

Around 10, a call from the hospice to advise they were ready for us and, leaving my mum with Sheila and Andrew and their lovely wee dog Cassie, Anne and I drove over...



A talk through matters with a very nice nurse and then I went alone to Pam’s room and sat with her for a while, just chatting away about all the things we’ve done over the last year and agreeing it was good that, at last, the tumour had been defeated...

She did not laugh at my jokes today...

We took her belongings to the car and drove home...

Called my mum and agreed we’d do our best to have a “normal” weekend and deal with all that needs to be dealt with on Monday...

A conversation with the local undertaker was a necessity though and we will look to wait before saying our final goodbye with a week on Monday being the likely day...

To the PC and further e-mails to further friends, colleagues and acquaintances as messages of support and goodwill and tales of Pam’s belovedness poured in...

In keeping with the struggle for normality in the face of the event, I worked on a new piece of music, based around one of the Schumann pieces from the early hours of this morning...

That may seem strange but, for me, it was “normal”...

In the evening, with matters calmer but messages still arriving, we ordered a curry in tribute to Pam – she always loved a curry – in fact eating a curry was one of the last things she did at our house just seven short weeks ago, on the night this final phase started...

Elsewhere around the country, friends were raising glasses and having a few drinks in memory of my wee sister...

She will live on in our hearts and in our thoughts...