Saturday, December 03, 2011

Knowing this day would come did not prepare me for its coming...

Playlist
Cloudland Blue Quartet - Souvenir XIX
Kat McKenzie - Hiding EP
Ian Sclater - It's Weird In Here
Al Stewart - A Beach Full of Shells
Alice Cooper - Along came a Spider
Laura Pausini - Primavera in Anticipo
Leann Rimes - Best Of
Various - The Classic Chillout Album
Various - Very Best of Euphoric Dance
Ella Fitzgerald - The Best of the Songbooks
Janine Jansen - Beau Soir
Various Composers - The Best of Opera
Berlioz/Dukas/Mussorgsky - Symphonie Fantastique etc

The day started quite well...

Up super early due to inability to sleep...

Surfing the net downstairs soundlessly on the I-Pod Touch...

Anne surfaced around nine...

To my mum's for 10 for a catch up visit and I promised to return in the afternoon...

Over to the hospice for their Xmas fair...





A goodly sum spent on the tombola - three prizes from twenty tickets...

A goodly sum spent in the CD and Book tent...



Seven discs procured...

Home for lunch and then took Anne to her mum's re today's Hearts match - thrashed 2-1 at home by St Johnstone (Queens moved up to 8th from 10th with a 4-1 win over Ayr Utd)...

Back to the hospice to visit sister Pam...

Visitors over the last couple of days, ourselves included, had noted Pam sleeping throughout their stays..

Upon arriving I noted Pam was sleeping again...

On mentioning it to the nurse with whom I had a had a long chat on Thursday night re Pam's situation, she took me to a room for a further chat...

Sadly, it has become clear that Pam's condition has deteriorated somewhat since her large seizure on Tuesday - indeed she has only awoken twice since Thursday morning - ideed she has hardly been awake since Tuesday evening...

And so it came to the bit...

As nicely as possible, the nurse advised that, due to a combination of the tumour and all the drugs now being constantly administered by automated pumps (due to Pam's inability to take anything by mouth), it is highly unlikely that she will ever wake again...

And so after all this time - a year of struggling and battling, it would seem it is all over...

I did not realise that, when I took the picture posted here last Monday, of my wee sister Pam smiling, that that would be the last time I would see her animated and that that would be the last time I would talk to her in the knowledge that she could hear me...

Knowing this day would come did not prepare me for its coming...

Pam's chum Liz arrived just as I reached Pam's bedside after the meet with the very nice nurse...

I did not bear up...

However, Liz was strong and she and her lovely 5 year old daughter Sky, sat with me for the rest of the visit and we chatted about Pam and all the good times and read out the mail that had been delivered in the last couple of days...

Then, a phonecall from the hospice car park to sister Sheila before heading back to my mum's to tell her the news...

Not a good day...

Not a good day at all really...

To Anne's mum's to pick her up after the game and our trip out tonight to a birthday party cancelled in favour of a quiet night in...

Life is, in general, unfair it would seem...

Highlight of the Day :

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

David

So sorry to hear this news. Words are inadequate, but do take whatever comfort you can from the fact that Pam has obviously enriched so many people's lives, and you in turn have been a tower of strength, comfort, support and love to her over these past months. Life isn't fair - but people from far and wide are holding you and your family in their thoughts and prayers.

With all good wishes

Paul

CBQ said...

Thanks Paul

And, sadly, I'm sure there are many in a similar situation.

Best

David

barrie sillars said...

Hi David,

My thoughts are with you and family at this very difficult time. All the best.

Barrie

CBQ said...

Thanks Barrie - much appreciated.

David