Indomitable spirit...

Playlist
Various – Last 9 Months on Shuffleplay
Wagner - Lohengrin
Liszt – Piano Sonata
Cloudland Blue Quartet – Original Versions of Proposed Set
The Killers – Human
Isaac Hayes – The First Time ever I Saw Your Face
Dar Williams – February
Cloudland Blue Quartet – Souvenir XIX

Another tough day...

Calls with the Western – they were looking for info on how Pam was pre seizure – I will meet with the docs tomorrow to get everything straight...

Nephew Andy visited this afternoon and reported sentences being formed...

Not having seen Pam since she was relatively well, he was devastated by how bad she was...

But he did not see her on Sunday...

In the evening, Anne and I visited and found her to be even better than the reports from Sheila and mum last night...

I'd collated everyone's good thoughts and wishes and love and hugs and read them all to her (and gave her the hugs too)...

She was much better than Sunday - managing a few sentences and able to move her right arm and leg...

She'd had physio today and had been able to be helped out of her bed and into a big comfy chair nearby...

Don’t get me wrong, she is still extremely ill but tonight was a fine and encouraging improvement from her lowest point just a couple of days ago...

The pic below is a wee message from Pam - it’s probably slightly better than the reality of the situation but it demonstrates her indomitable spirit – which she’s had from day one of this awful situation, nearly a year ago...



Highlight of the Day : A visit to Pam...

Gloom lifted slightly...

Playlist
Wagner - Lohengrin
Various – Last 9 Months on Shuffleplay
Cloudland Blue Quartet – Souvenir XIX
Creek – 2010

Awoke to a beautiful Wagner piece on the headphones after a restless night...

The prelude from “Lohengrin”...

A day of trepidation began in gloom...




Spent much of my time today e-mailing and texting family and friends as well as Pam’s medical team in Glasgow...

Wednesday’s gig cancelled, ironically not by me...

Home through more gloom...











Mum and sister Sheila visited Pam this evening and reported more words than “yes” and “no” being used in the choosing of items from tomorrow’s menus...

Also, regarding a packet of crisps brought by Pam’s chum Liz, the spontaneous use of the right arm...

So an improvement, however small and, typically for Pam, food related!

An e-mail from Creek chum Cobblers led me to fire up the tracks we’d been working on prior to Pam becoming ill last December and I worked on a third piece and invited Cobblers, Count Brodski and Beatmaster Craig to a get together sometime soon...

Meanwhile, Meg the Black cat tired herself out on the guitar...



Highlight of the Day : Pam not just quite so bad...

Low...

Playlist
Sylvian/Fripp – Earthbound Starblind
Robert Fripp – A Blessing of Tears

Around 2am this morning, Anne and I were woken by strange noises from Pam’s room...

We went though and found her having a massive seizure...

We called an ambulance which arrived within 10 mins but she was still seizing – she had a further two episodes at the house and was taken unconscious into the ambulance...

I went with her to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary (ERI) A&E arriving around 3:10 am...

At A&E she had a further four seizures by 7:15am, including one whilst on the table having a CT scan...

I was advised it showed no significant change in the tumour but a lot of swelling around it...

Pam was transferred to the Assessment Base at the ERI just after 8am and was there for most of the day, which I spent with her...



She was in a very bad way indeed, although there were no further seizures - she could only say “yes” or “no” and had little or no strength or movement in her right side...

She seemed able to understand what was going on and could still laugh at my rubbish jokes - she knew what she wanted to say but she just couldn’t make the words come out...

In the evening, Pam was taken to the Western General under their Neurology Department...

I had explained to the doctors earlier in the day that she was in the middle of her chemo and it was agreed that this could continue and not be interrupted...

She may well now be at the Western for a while and I am liasing with the team at The Beatson in Glasgow to ensure she continues to receive the best possible care...

At present, the situation looks to be:-
(a) Prof Chalmers' chemo prescription is continuing
(b) Neurology at the Western will try to determine the best anti seizure and anti brain swell regimen for Pam

I visited her at the Western around 8 this evening and, as you might imagine, it was terrible to see her so unable to do anything and have no way to tell anyone what she wants or needs...

To have this happen to her when she was in with a chance of some decent quality time is a real killer. I am just hoping there is some way of reducing the swelling, which might give her some speech back, and that the loss of use of her right side can somehow be ameliorated...

So that's the story today which is not a good one...

Back home, I felt beaten by the day’s events...

I’ve written this a couple of days later – I needed that time because what happened today was one of my worst days ever...

Sleepless, speechless...

Playlist
Various - Last 9 Months on Shuffleplay
Cloudland Blue Quartet - Souvenir XIX
Sumner McKane - Hunting for Salamanders
The Moody Blues - A Quaestion of Balance
Editors - The Back Room
Roy Ayers - Stoned Soul Picnic

Almost got up at 4:06 until I saw the time...

Sleepless due to the lurgi...

Up at 6:20 and mucking about with the jukeboxes...

At 9 to Tesco for further medication, drugs and cough sweets - and a new DVD player for Anne's mum, who has suddenly expressed an interest in listening to music and watching DVDs...

With this in mind, yesterday at HMV, I snapped up a 4CD box of Matt Monro's EMI recordings for her - Matt is her fave rave...

Back home and created a cover for the next CBQ Souvenir CD for Wednesday night...



A rehearsal of the nine song set, not singing with too much gusto re the ongoing lurgi attack...

Under control though, thanks to drugs and cough sweets, for our trip to mum's to pick up Pam...

We arrived at around 12:30 and had lunch and got her sorted out, eventually leaving Loanhead after 3 pm...

Pam advises (as best she can - her speech is fragmented to say the least) that she is at her lowest ebb right now...

On Monday, Dr James did advise that the chemo can make you as much as 40% worse than you were before so, if she was even at 80%, she might now be down to below 50% (60% x 80% = 48%) if you follow...

Back to ours and we just relaxed in the living room, listening to music and watching the footie scores come in...



A win for Queens - huzzah...

Pam's speech may be away to buggery right now but her hair's coming back...



As the night drew in and the ladies prepared themselves for "Strictly", your correspondent was sent out into the dark for curry-based sustenance...

This was enjoyed by all, and watched over by Meg the Black Cat...



I left the ladies to it and brought this up to date pre "Merlin" and, no doubt, some footie highlights which Pam will sleep through...

It's tough seeing Pam like this but she still has a smile on her lips...

Once again I must opine she is amazing...

PS Later on, Pam was chuffed that Meg the Black Cat chose to snooze on her lap...



Little did we know what dreadful events were just a couple of hours away...

Highlight of the Day : Pam still smiling...

Found picture...

Playlist
Miles Davis - 1963-1969
Cloudland Blue Quartet - 1996-2011
Peter Hammill - Over
Brand X - Macrocosm

Saw this on the pavement this morning as I walked down the road...



There must surely be a story behind it but I'll never know...

I was oblivious to the fact I'd forgotten my wallet...

I only realised once I was at a point where a 30 minute walk would be required to remedy the situation - a quick call to the Exec Producer solved the problem as she whizzed down in the Cloudland Blue Mobile to pass the leathery beast to me...

Uptown, Charlotte Square once again awaits its annual post Book Festival repair...



Several calls with my mum today re Pam - she advised no improvement thus far re her speech, if anything, it's worse...

We must remain positive...

Appointments have arrived for two scans in Glasgow on Wednesday - suitable arrangements were put in place...

We will have Pam at Crispycat Towers tomorrow and Sunday - to give both ladies a break!!

A visit to Fopp last thing resulted in another couple of discs of Spohr's string quartets and two solo albums by Peter Hammill entering the collection, along with a second hand copy of a Klaus Schulze concert from 1993 and a compilation of cracking jazz fusion from Brand X...

Consequently, slightly darker today as I passed the cathedral...



Perhaps this is a better view...



...or perhaps this is...



The lurgi returned big style today so the race is on to get them under control by the time we see Pam tomorrow...

In the evening, a fine tea from Annie involved haggis-based beef olives and a tasty tomato-based sauce with mash and asparagus...

Later on, a call with Pam's chum Debbie, who had called Loanhead earlier to speak to Pam but found she'd already retired - a natter with my mum substituted...

The chemo is evidently causing major fatigue...

We will have a first hand handle on matters tomorrow...

"Have I Got News For You" was enjoyed and Derren Brown proving how someone can be programmed to carry out an assassination, without having any recollection of it whatsoever, was fascinating stuff...

Medication taken and off to bed...

Highlight of the Day : Annie's culinary skills...

Perspective...

Playlist
Miles Davis - Seven Steps to Heaven
Miles Davis - Live at the Monterey Jazz Festival 1963
Miles Davis - Miles Davis in Europe
Miles Davis - The Complete Concert 1964
Miles Davis - Miles in Tokyo
Miles Davis - Miles in Berlin
Miles Davis - The Complete Live at the Plugged Nickel 1965
Miles Davis - E.S.P.
Miles Davis - Miles Smiles
Miles Davis - Sorceror
Miles Davis - Nefertiti
Miles Davis - Water Babies
Miles Davis - Live in Europe 1967
Miles Davis - Miles in the Sky
Miles Davis - Filles de Kilimanjaro
Miles Davis - In A Silent Way

Continuing from last night's Miles Davis listening session and being unable to sleep, I was up at 5:40 transferring his works from 1963-1969 into the new jukebox alongside the recently acquired Live In Europe 1967 box set...

Tasty...

Uptown, took this photo around 8:30, not even noticing all the roadworks encroaching on the view...



Anne was out tonight with chum Michelle, making plans for their trip to Glasgow in November to see the groover from Vancouver, Mr Bryan Adams...

Back home, I continued with the Miles listening, post a quick, croaky rehearsal re next week...

A call from mum, worried about Pam, put a bit of a dampener on the evening...

Even though Pam was out and about today and, indeed is out at chum Liz's tonight for dinner with said Liz and other chum Janice, mum reckons Pam's memory is bad and her speech is bad too...

She had advised mum today of calls signalling three proposed visits but, later on, as only one materialised, Pam did not recollect having advised of the other two...

I tried my best to keep mum's spirits up but it's hard for this 81 year old lady living with her very ill daughter and seeing first hand everything Pam is going through...

We just have to hope that the new chemo has some kind of beneficial effect on the tumour and gives Pam some respite...

Thankfully, my lurgi seem to be on the wane already after just a couple of days so fingers crossed I can make a visit on Saturday...

Mr Davis' music which, in the cans earlier today seemed so life affirming, now seems pretty inconsequential in the big scheme of things...

Highlight of the day : Miles' music...

Off the rails...

Playlist
Various - Last 9 Months on Shuffleplay
Various - 2011 Releases on Shuffleplay
Cloudland Blue Quartet - Souvenir XIX
Miles Davis - E.S.P.

Late yesterday afternoon I felt the first stirrings of the lurgi...

Today they arrived in full force...

Out at Loanhead, Pam had a good, busy day...

Went to the doc's on her own and got the flu jab (as recommended by the doc on Monday)...

Had visit from mum's neighbours, a visit from the District Nurse, who's organising a special chair to allow Pam to keep her feet up to counter the swelling she's got right now (exercise too will help this)...

A visit from our friends Lex and Moira from Glasgow, including lunch at a nearby restaurant and a good natter all afternoon...

And calls this evening from another of my mum and Pam's friends and from Debs in Hemel...


No sickness so far re the chemo - just feeling a bit tired which is only to be expected - off to bed at 9:30...

Tomorrow night she's out with old schoolchums Liz and Janice - there's no stopping her!


For me, it was the now usual route home after an uneventful day...







I will play here next Wednesday...



The work on the tram (just the one remember) continues to hold up edinburgh and piss money down the drain...

It's so bad, they are actually repairing the tracks before they've ever been used...



Did not rehearse this evening though due to above lurgi - listened to the rehearsal from the other day instead...

Watched "Fresh Meat"...

Enjoyed some late night Miles Davis with Meg the Black Cat...



Off to bed coughing and sniffing, much to Annie's chagrin...

Miles on the cans...

Highlight of the Day : Pam seems to be doing ok on the treatment...

CBQ Live (Take 2)

Following last month's enjoyable evening, having a drink with (rather than performing for) those of you who came along to see me play, I am advised that, next Wednesday, 26th October, there is definitely an acoustic music evening at The Melville in William Street, Edinburgh...


I will play a thirty minute set of originals and covers, including some debut performances...

Entry is free and the night kicks off at 8pm.  There will be four or five acts...

Might see you there (again)?

Cheers

David Reilly
Cloudland Blue Quartet
http://www.crispycat.co.uk/

2,500...

Playlist
Cloudland Blue Quartet - Souvenir XIX
Telemann, Fasch, Fischer, Mueller - Lustige Feld Musik

Soundtracked today by last night's rehearsal - apart from some early classical stuff whilst I did the dishes...

Still taking the new route...



Much faster...

Called Pam this morning and she sounded well despite the large dose of chemo last night...

She's amazing...

In the kitchen this evening, Anne came up with a superb and tasty Mexican dish...



Watched two "Corries", an excellent "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (the one with the "Chat and Cut" - love the way she says "thanks" at the end) and the second of two "DCI Banks" on the Tivo - rather a stupid detective...

Then a run through the set then some work on the PC...

Lights out...

Highlight of the Day : Anne's Mexican cookery...

Treatment (part 642)...

Playlist
Brian Eno - Drums Between the Bells
The Tubes - White Punks on Dope
Cloudland Blue Quartet - Souvenir XIX

Up just after seven and preparing for today's visit to The Beatson with Pam...

Sister Sheila arrived just before nine as we were finishing breakfast and off we set, leaving Anne behind to take Meg the Black Cat to the vet later this morning and help sister-in-law Jane with wallpapering in the afternoon...

At first the weather was ok...



Then, it started raining and it rained all day without a break...



We arrived in good time...



...admiring the bust of Mr Beatson...



Our appointment was for 11:15 but we were finally seen at 12:45 following Pam's Professor being called away to Dundee and someone fainting in one of the consultation rooms...

We were seen by Prof Chalmers' colleague Dr James along with Nurse Practitioner Mairi...

Unfortunately, it seems there is only a very small chance that Pam’s recent problems have not been caused by the return of the tumour..

It may be that it’s what’s called “Pseudo Progression”, whereby the treatment itself causes tumour like symptoms - but that usually happens a lot closer to the time of the radiotherapy and initial chemo treatment...

So the choice they faced was
(a) leave things be and see if Pam gets better but in the knowledge that if it turns out to be the tumour then, by the time that is known for sure, it would be too late to do anything about it or
(b) assume right now that it's the tumour and treat it accordingly...

So it has to be (b) really - and new chemo starts today...

Pam will tonight take a large dose of one chemo drug (Lomustine) and, from tomorrow for ten days, a daily dose of a second drug (Procarbazine)...

Anti nausea drugs will be taken for both of these...

Meanwhile some of Pam's other medication (anti-seizure, steroids) will be reduced shortly, which will be a good thing...

Her next 11 day chemo cycle is due to start in seven weeks...

So now we need to see how Pam reacts to this new chemo – it could make her feel quite weak and/or sick or it may be ok or it may be somewhere in between but we must hope that whatever the side effects, it is successful in holding back the tumour...

Tough times indeed but Pam is determined to keep fighting and I know she will continue to enjoy everyone’s support...

At 2:45 we finally had time to get some lunch, post bloods being taken and pre my collecting all her drugs from the pharmacy...



Then it was back into the rain for the drive home...



Meanwhile Meg the Black (and white) Cat had had her wee patch shaved once again for her own bloods to be taken re her ongoing thyroid scenario...



The wee pie seems to be doing ok despite all this...

With Anne out at Zumba with Lynn, I sent today's news round all Pam's chums and colleagues and called my mum to ensure all was well with tonight's medication...

Some good news today too though, in that Pam's chum Michelle finally gave birth to her baby, a son, after being in labour since Saturday... 

Congratulations...

Later on, made a quick recording of the proposed 11 song set for next Wednesday - this may well be deemed ok enough to become the nineteenth in the series of CBQ Souvenirs...

A reasonable day but a big fight ahead...

Highlight of the Day : Pam's ongoing bravery...

Along the path...

Playlist
Various - Last 9 Months on Shuffleplay

Up and out to the gym and back before Anne had even woken...

Around 9:45, back out to the car as we set off for Patisserie Florentin...





We drove to Roseburn and then took a 40 minute walk along The Water of Leith to Stockbridge...





















...passing this gamboling spaniel on the way...





...and back to where we'd walked last week with Pam, St Bernard's Well...



..and on past the market...



..to our goal...



...which, unlike last Sunday, was completely empty in the back room...



Breakfast was enjoyed...



...before heading back to the market and partaking of some lovely bread...



At 12:40 we started the walk back to the car...



...retracing our steps...













Photogenic ducks were spotted...





..as was a seemingly grumpy bread wielding man...



...and another wee dog...



..and an AIDS/HIV memorial...



..and the bridge to the Gallery of Modern Art...



...and, before we knew it, we were back at our starting point...



At home, I worked on the setlist for the gig on the 26th before we drove over to mum's, where Pam was keeping her feet up re steroid induced swollen ankles...



From there, it was over to Anne's mum's for the family tea - although the only family members there tonight were me, Anne and Pam - Keith and Maureen were in Madrid with their kids and Jane and Bobby were at an anniversary celebration elsewhere...

Steak pie was on the menu...





..as was chocolate cake...



The ladies liked it...



Home in time for the "Spooks" - and Pam enjoyed some pictures of Olivia and Megan, children of Suzanne and Chris's from Hemel Hempstead, e-mailed to her this evening...







Post another excellent "Spooks" (only one episode to go) it was "Match of the Day", with Pam enjoying the Spurs game, before heading for bed - back to the hospital tomorrow...

Highlight of the Day : A good long walk with Annie...